How are you?

(cross posted on myspace)
I actually wrote in that blasted journal. I've had it for a month and there's 2 whole entries in it now. Goddess I hate that thing!

I watched some of the MJ memorial today, simply because there was no way to avoid it. It was literally on every network in some form. Then by choice I watched the documentary Farrah Fawcett made about her battle with cancer entitled "Farrah's Story" (I dvr-ed it). At the end, she's reading aloud from what I can only assume is her diary about how she answered the question 'how are you?' her answer was absolutely beautiful and I wish I had written it down to type it here but the jist of it was 'I'm alive so that means I'm good.' But the part that really got me thinking was the almost surprised I'm turning tables way she than said oh how are you? what are you fighting for? It got me thinking, such a simple question, it wouldn't leave me alone so I did write it down on the corner of my cross stitch pattern.

How are you? I'm alive and relatively healthy so I'm great! What am I fighting for? Hm, now that's a harder question to answer. What am I fighting for? I don't know. Thinking about it had me pulling out that damned journal and working it out there. I discovered a few things about myself, (a) thanks to the carpal tunnel it hurts to write 3 pages, (b) I've got a surprising amount of anger bottled up, and (c) I still don't know what I'm fighting for. Unless its a losing war against dust and dirty clothes, which a certain 9 year old has taken to stashing in the bizarrest places in his bedroom. And that's not trying to make light of the question or the seriousness in which Ms. Fawcett asked it. I finally decided that there isn't a war for me to fight right this moment. But my focus right now is to learn to not over think anything and to be a fracking duck and let things said to or about me and mine to wash over my feathers and away. It ain't worth the upset stomach.

Ugh, enough serious stuff, let's talk about something fun. I picked up a copy of Julie & Julia at Target the other day. I love the previews for the movie so when I saw the book on sale I bought it. Wish I'd known there was a trade size version one aisle over. I would have shelled out the extra 7 bucks. Holding MMPB's hurt my hands, damn near everything hurts my hands now. Anywho, this is one hilarious book and it's upped my desire to see the movie by leaps. I'll probably even buy Powell's next book when it comes out. I just hope they don't pull out all the best snark like they did with 'The Devil Wears Prada'. I so wanted to see Anne Hathaway, ruin the gears of the car while banging her head on the steering wheel chanting f*ck. But it didn't happen, in fact they pulled all the really good parts out. Go read the book you'll see.

I don't know if its a good or bad thing but I have this building desire to go find a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking vol 1 or MtAoFC as Powell calls it. I don't think I'm brave enough to try cooking from it. Some of the recipes sound truely frightening. Calf hooves and brains oh my!

But it got me to thinking about blogs and whether or not people care about what I think and if there's anyone even reading this nonsense. I know the little tally says people do read what I write, which is something of a thrill. I've even gotten a couple of emails saying they like what I write, thank you for those btw. And I just contradicted myself so its time for me to go to sleep. I've made the decision to try to post some sort of rambling, if not every day than every few days.

So this has been todays ramblings.
TTFN Elena/Melissa (yes today its Melissa not Missy. I'm not feeling very Missy-esque today)